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Sickbacchus ft. Blaarg
05:55
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"The Libretto"
Narrator:
Eliot seized his opportunity when Eileen left to go shopping for a potted plant. He planned to surprise her by cleaning out the refrigerator. But he got a surprise himself. Because while he was cleaning out the refrigerator, he was also getting brutally murdered.
Eliot:
I didn't mean to hurt her.
She means so much to me.
I just really wanted
To see Saw III.
DVR was loaded. (hell yes)
But no memory space was free. (hell naw)
Saw was on at seven,
But I, I had places to be.
(Chorus)
Eliot:
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Is there anything I can do?
Eileen:
Well there is something you can do.
But I'm not gonna tell you what to do.
(end Chorus)
Eileen:
I can't believe he taped over
Together:
Eileen: True Blood
Eliot: Saw III
Eileen:
I'm really hungry I think I'll look in the fridge.
I wish he would
Backup singers:
Clean it!
Eileen:
Oh, you know what would look good on the porch?
A potted plant of sorts!
(Chorus)
Narrator:
So Eileen went to buy a potted plant.
Eliot:
Aww yea, finally some me time.
What is there to do?
I could browse the web.
Last time she never knew.
Narrator:
But as he reached for a brewski, he realized what to do. He'd clean the fridge for Eileen, even though she didn't ask him to.
Phallic synth flute:
Bwa bwa bwa bwa bwaaaa bwa bwa bwa bwaa bwa bwaa bwa bwa bwaaaaaaaaaaa
Narrator:
Having nothing to do, I decided to go for a stroll to find something to do. I spotted a home with an open window and thought to peer inside in the hopes of finding something to do.
"Rage Narrator":
metal style growl
Narrator:
When I spied Eliot through the kitchen window, I knew what I had to do. I would brutally murder Eliot, even though he didn't ask me to.
"Rage Narrator":
metal style growl
"Stereo Eliot":
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
"Rage Narrator":
Two hands, one stainless steel sink.
Something for me to do, I think.
Garbage disposal hungry
for its daily grind.
First Eliot's clean hands.
And then his dirty mind.
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The Purples Fayetteville, Arkansas
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